Guide to Birth Control
Hey ladies! This is IT! The comprehensive guide to birth control. Whether you’re engaged, newly married, or a veteran wife, if you’re sexually active (or about to be), you’ll probably want to have some control over when babies happen. Before we go into details, we want to clarify that when to have kids, and how many to have, is strictly between husband and wife and the Lord. The Church has no policy prohibiting the use of birth control.
Birth control falls into 3 basic categories: Hormonal Methods, Barrier Methods, and Everything Else. (Okay, so that last category is a little vague.) We've included the basics on the main forms of birth control. If you want more details, talk to your doctor or other sisters you feel comfortable with. We’ve also provided some personal insight at the end of this article. Feel free to ask questions or share experiences in the comments, or with our contact form!
We also recommend checking out Planned Parenthood’s comprehensive list here!
IMPORTANT NOTE: WE ARE NOT DOCTORS! You should discuss your method of birth control with your doctor and your fiancé/spouse. A doctor will be able to give you more detailed guidance.
Birth control falls into 3 basic categories: Hormonal Methods, Barrier Methods, and Everything Else. (Okay, so that last category is a little vague.) We've included the basics on the main forms of birth control. If you want more details, talk to your doctor or other sisters you feel comfortable with. We’ve also provided some personal insight at the end of this article. Feel free to ask questions or share experiences in the comments, or with our contact form!
We also recommend checking out Planned Parenthood’s comprehensive list here!
IMPORTANT NOTE: WE ARE NOT DOCTORS! You should discuss your method of birth control with your doctor and your fiancé/spouse. A doctor will be able to give you more detailed guidance.
Hormonal MethodsHormonal methods include anything that affects the chemistry of the body. Hormones prevent eggs from leaving the ovary, and also thicken cervical mucus to prevent sperm from getting very far. All of these are the same basic idea, with a different method of delivery.
A lot of women may experience side effects from hormonal birth control. Work closely with your doctor to find the right dose and method for you. You should start hormonal birth control a few months before you become sexually active, to give your body time to adjust. LISTED IN ORDER FROM MOST EFFECTIVE TO LEAST EFFECTIVE MORNING AFTER PILL A concentrated dose of a hormone that prevents fertilization HOW TO GET IT: available at many drugstores EFFECTIVENESS: 85%-99% effective HOW TO USE IT: The sooner taken after intercourse, the better. You’ll take it by mouth just once. THINGS TO CONSIDER: The morning-after pill is NOT the same as an abortion pill. If you’re already pregnant, the morning-after pill won’t affect the pregnancy. You can take a morning-after pill 3-5 days after intercourse. It can be kind of spendy--around $40. THE PILL A small pill taken daily by the woman. HOW TO GET IT: prescription EFFECTIVENESS: 91%-99% HOW TO USE IT: The pill is taken daily by mouth. THINGS TO CONSIDER: Ask your doctor what you should do if you miss a dose. There are lots of varieties of the pill, and every situation is different. THE PATCH A small patch that sticks to the skin to deliver hormones. HOW TO GET IT: prescription EFFECTIVENESS: 91%-99% HOW TO USE IT: Stick one new patch on the skin (upper arm, buttocks, back, or stomach) once a week for three weeks, and wear continuously. A patch is NOT worn during the fourth week. Discard each patch after use. THINGS TO CONSIDER: You’ll have to put the patch in a place where it won’t fall off easily. You won’t be able to use lotion or makeup or anything else like it on or near the patch. NUVARING A small, flexible ring that the woman inserts into her vagina. HOW TO GET IT: prescription EFFECTIVENESS: 91%-99% HOW TO USE IT: You’ll insert the ring into your vagina once a month and leave it there for three weeks, then take it out and discard it, not wearing one for one week. You’ll use a new ring each month. THINGS TO CONSIDER: Bonus! Some women find the ring improves their sexual experiences! When the ring is worn during intercourse, it can sometimes bump up against your G-spot, giving some extra sensation. THE SHOT A single shot administered by a doctor to a woman’s arm or buttocks. HOW TO GET IT: from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 94%-99% effective HOW TO USE IT: You’ll visit your doctor once every 12 weeks to receive the shot. THINGS TO CONSIDER: This is a convenient method if you don’t want to keep track of pills, patches, or rings. You can get it once every 12 weeks and then forget about it! IMPLANT (IN ARM) A small, matchstick-sized rod that’s inserted into the arm by a doctor. HOW TO GET IT: from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 99+% effective HOW TO USE IT: Your arm will be numbed and then the implant inserted. Then you can forget about for the next 3 years! THINGS TO CONSIDER: It can prevent pregnancy for up to 3 years! This is a great solution if you know kids are not in your plans for a few years. However, it can be a little spendy—up to $800, depending on your insurance. HORMONAL IUD A small, T-shaped device inserted into the uterus. HOW TO GET IT: from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 99+% effective HOW TO USE IT: You’ll need to visit a doctor and have the IUD inserted. THINGS TO CONSIDER: An IUD can last up to 12 years! This is another great option if you’re looking for semi-permanent birth control. It can be spendy—up to $1000, depending on your insurance. |
Barrier MethodsBarrier methods include anything that blocks sperm and egg from meeting.
LISTED IN ORDER FROM MOST EFFECTIVE TO LEAST EFFECTIVE FEMALE CONDOMS A small pouch that is inserted into the vagina to prevent sperm from meeting with the egg. HOW TO GET IT: from most drugstores EFFECTIVENESS: 79%-95% HOW TO USE IT: Follow the instructions on the package. It should be inserted into the vagina prior to intercourse, and removed and thrown away afterwards. THINGS TO CONSIDER: It’s common for the female condom to move around a little during intercourse. You can pause and make adjustments if you need to. CONDOMS A latex or plastic sheath worn over the penis. HOW TO GET IT: from most drugstores EFFECTIVENESS: 82%-98% HOW TO USE IT: The condom will be rolled on to the erect penis just before intercourse. It should be removed after intercourse and thrown away. Never reuse a condom. THINGS TO CONSIDER: These are a great option because they’re inexpensive, easy to obtain, and easy to use. It can dull some of the sensation for men, which actually can help a man sustain an erection for longer, but if that’s a concern, you can purchase thinner condoms. Trojan BareSkin is a great option—they’re thin, easy to use, and pre-lubricated. We’d recommend this kind for young couples new to sex. When you’re more experienced, you can try textured or flavored condoms. Some women are allergic to latex, which can make sex with a latex condom NO FUN. If this is a concern, there are lots of latex-free options, including Durex Real Feel Latex-free, Lifestyles Skyn Latex-free, and Trojan Naturalamb Luxury Condoms. Don’t forget lubricant! Even if you’re using lubricated condoms, a little extra is usually helpful. SPONGES A soft, round sponge made of plastic foam that contains spermicide. It blocks sperm from entering the uterus, and kills any “strays.” HOW TO GET IT: from most drugstores, online, or from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 88%-91% HOW TO USE IT: You’ll insert the sponge deep into the vagina prior to intercourse. You’ll need to leave it in for at least 6 hours after intercourse. Don’t leave it in place for longer than 30 hours. THINGS TO CONSIDER: It’s kind of like a diaphragm in that it can be re-used for up to 2 years. Follow the instructions on the package or from your doctor. DIAPHRAGM/CERVICAL CAP A shallow silicone cup worn inside the vagina. HOW TO GET IT: from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 88%-94% HOW TO USE IT: You’ll insert it in the vagina hours before intercourse, or right before. You’ll need to leave it in for at least 6 hours after intercourse. Don’t leave it in place for longer than 24 hours. THINGS TO CONSIDER: The nice thing about a diaphragm is that it can be re-used for 2 years, if kept clean and undamaged. Follow the instructions with the package, or from your doctor. |
Everything ElseAnd here are your other options, if barrier or hormonal methods aren’t your style.
LISTED IN ORDER FROM MOST EFFECTIVE TO LEAST EFFECTIVE SPERMICIDE The couple uses a chemical that “kills” sperm during intercourse or blocks the cervix. HOW TO GET IT: from most drugstores EFFECTIVENESS: 71%-85% effective HOW TO USE IT: This comes in gel, cream, foam, dissolving film, or suppository forms. It should be applied every time you have intercourse. THINGS TO CONSIDER: You can use spermicide with other birth control methods like condoms, to increase your protection. Some condoms even come with spermicidal lubricant! FERTILITY AWARENESS This involves keeping track of when you’re ovulating, and not having sex on those days. HOW TO GET IT: n/a EFFECTIVENESS: 72% effective HOW TO DO IT: Keep careful track of your periods. There are a lot of apps to help you! On your most fertile days, avoid intercourse. THINGS TO CONSIDER: You can get pregnant usually around 7 days during your menstrual cycle: the 5 days before ovulating, the day of ovulation, and the day or two after ovulation. This method works better if you have a very regular cycle. Keep in mind that fertilization can happen a day or two after intercourse. PULL OUT METHOD This is when the man removes his penis from the vagina before ejaculation, so that no sperm enter the vagina. HOW TO GET IT: n/a EFFECTIVENESS: 73%-96% effective HOW TO DO IT: When the man feels he is getting close to orgasm/ejaculation, he should remove his penis from the vagina and ejaculate elsewhere THINGS TO CONSIDER: This one takes a LOT of control. This isn’t recommended for couples with limited sexual experience. If you’re really serious about not having kids, and if you’re new to sex, this one probably isn’t the choice for you. It can also get a little messy. If neither of you are comfortable with using hands to bring the man to orgasm, this is probably not the one for you. COPPER IUD A small T-shaped device inserted into the uterus by a doctor which stops sperm from joining with the egg. HOW TO GET IT: from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 99+% HOW TO USE IT: You’ll have the IUD inserted by a doctor once, and then it will stay in place for up to 12 years. THINGS TO CONSIDER: You can have your IUD removed anytime before the 12-year mark. DRY SEX/OUTERCOURSE With this method, the man does not insert his penis (or ejaculate) inside the vagina. HOW TO GET IT: n/a EFFECTIVENESS: Almost 100% HOW TO DO IT: This can involve bringing the man to ejaculation using the mouth, hands, breasts, or any other body part. This could also involve “dry humping” or grinding against one another’s genitals, with or without clothing. THINGS TO CONSIDER: Some newly married couples may feel more comfortable with this kind of sexual activity at first. Your chances of pregnancy increase if semen gets near the vagina—it’s unlikely to result in pregnancy, but it IS possible for sperm to enter the vagina if it’s spilled nearby. STERILIZATION This is a permanent form of birth control, where either the man or the woman undergoes a surgery to make them infertile. HOW TO GET IT: from a doctor EFFECTIVENESS: 100% HOW TO USE IT: You will have one surgery, and then that’s it! THINGS TO CONSIDER: This is only an option if you know you do not want any children, or if a pregnancy would seriously endanger your health. |
Thoughts from the Ladies!
We asked the ladies here at Eternal Intimacy what advice they had regarding birth control, lubricant, and anything else they wish they’d known as young brides. Here’s what they had to say!
“We are partial to astroglide. Worst name ever. Super effective. Though ky his+hers is nice as well. Also, a lot of women discover latex allergies on their honeymoons because their...downstairs...is more sensitive than other places and can react more easily. I think it's important to mention that because I learned the hard way that condoms can be a literal pain. Skyn condoms are a nice latex free alternative but they can get a bit spendy and not every place has them. The other bit of advice I'd give in the world of birth control is that sometimes, the pill or the shot or the IUD or whatever can react weirdly to your body. If something starts seeming off, get it checked out. I've had birth control make me hemorrhage really badly (more than once...it happens every time actually; and always at exactly 6 months) and my mirena IUD gave me postpartum depression. Many doctors don't go over those kinds of side effects with girls and they think they are going crazy or something. There are lots of alternatives to hormones, barrier method, spermicides, FAM...don't be afraid to look into something else if 'traditional' methods like the pill are not working for you.
Lastly I'd mention that figuring sex out can require a little work. Sometimes there are no problems at all and other times, it's a little tricky. Especially if you're both virgins. (I've heard...I've never been with a virgin) and sometimes it just takes time and practice to get things to be really good, but communication is the most important part, there's no mind reading, if something isn't working, throw the poor guy a bone and tell him.” –C
“I second the latex allergy, you can get a blood test to check for it before having fire crotch. I learned the hard way too.
I've been fine on birth control but lots of people do have reactions to them. We used astroglide when I was married and coconut oil. I prefer coconut oil since I know it is a natural ingredient around my vagina. I did like the his and hers lube too.
You just have to experiment and see what works best for you.
Sex is lots of fun but sometimes it is messy and also laughable. It isn't going to go the way you always expect it. Just communicate to him what you like and you'll both learn together.” –S
“WET! lube is the best that my husband and I have found available in regular stores. The regular KY was terrible, very gummy. A lot of times sex stores have the best stuff. As for BC, the rod they put in your arm has been great for my friend who didn't want to take a pill every day at the same time.” –A
“To what's already been said: Make sure you're using the right lube with the right condoms! Oil weakens latex. And use more lube than you think you need. It makes things easier if you're dry, but it also prevents chafing if you end up having rougher sex and/or a lot of sex in a short period. And if you're going with hormonal birth control, start it several months BEFORE you start having sex. That way, you won't end up with postpartum depression or irritability or unexpected bleeding or any other hormonal volatility on your honeymoon.” –K
“I second the idea of starting birth control early. I started a week or so before and responded to it very emotionally, so it was hormones plus moving into a new place plus sex for the first time plus my ex husband being fresh off his mission--it was just a lot to handle. If took me a while to realize that I wasn't only being emotional because of birth control, my marriage actually sucked. In the LDS world it's inevitable that a LOT of change come all at once when you get married. Living with a guy is enough to deal with when you never have. Minimize the new variables as much as you can by acclimating/experimenting with hormonal birth control (if that's the route you choose) and know that the hormones of birth control can make you moody. A good guy will love you through that.” –L
“I swear by my IUD. Get it right after you get engaged and at about 6 months with it, you'll typically have zero periods, and you never have to think about birth control. Muchas better than making love with a balloon between your lips (no matter how "thin" it is). The Mirena is covered by most insurance policies. As for Lube, we used KY for the first couple times, but it got much better when we stop depending on a bottle, and just made sure I had created enough of my own lube before penetration. I think that's the best, but to each his/her own.” –SB
“I'm on just the standard pill right now, but I'm thinking about doing an IUD just for convenience. As for lube, we really like Astroglide, and His/Hers KY. We tried some of the warming kind, and I hated it.” –AD
“We are partial to astroglide. Worst name ever. Super effective. Though ky his+hers is nice as well. Also, a lot of women discover latex allergies on their honeymoons because their...downstairs...is more sensitive than other places and can react more easily. I think it's important to mention that because I learned the hard way that condoms can be a literal pain. Skyn condoms are a nice latex free alternative but they can get a bit spendy and not every place has them. The other bit of advice I'd give in the world of birth control is that sometimes, the pill or the shot or the IUD or whatever can react weirdly to your body. If something starts seeming off, get it checked out. I've had birth control make me hemorrhage really badly (more than once...it happens every time actually; and always at exactly 6 months) and my mirena IUD gave me postpartum depression. Many doctors don't go over those kinds of side effects with girls and they think they are going crazy or something. There are lots of alternatives to hormones, barrier method, spermicides, FAM...don't be afraid to look into something else if 'traditional' methods like the pill are not working for you.
Lastly I'd mention that figuring sex out can require a little work. Sometimes there are no problems at all and other times, it's a little tricky. Especially if you're both virgins. (I've heard...I've never been with a virgin) and sometimes it just takes time and practice to get things to be really good, but communication is the most important part, there's no mind reading, if something isn't working, throw the poor guy a bone and tell him.” –C
“I second the latex allergy, you can get a blood test to check for it before having fire crotch. I learned the hard way too.
I've been fine on birth control but lots of people do have reactions to them. We used astroglide when I was married and coconut oil. I prefer coconut oil since I know it is a natural ingredient around my vagina. I did like the his and hers lube too.
You just have to experiment and see what works best for you.
Sex is lots of fun but sometimes it is messy and also laughable. It isn't going to go the way you always expect it. Just communicate to him what you like and you'll both learn together.” –S
“WET! lube is the best that my husband and I have found available in regular stores. The regular KY was terrible, very gummy. A lot of times sex stores have the best stuff. As for BC, the rod they put in your arm has been great for my friend who didn't want to take a pill every day at the same time.” –A
“To what's already been said: Make sure you're using the right lube with the right condoms! Oil weakens latex. And use more lube than you think you need. It makes things easier if you're dry, but it also prevents chafing if you end up having rougher sex and/or a lot of sex in a short period. And if you're going with hormonal birth control, start it several months BEFORE you start having sex. That way, you won't end up with postpartum depression or irritability or unexpected bleeding or any other hormonal volatility on your honeymoon.” –K
“I second the idea of starting birth control early. I started a week or so before and responded to it very emotionally, so it was hormones plus moving into a new place plus sex for the first time plus my ex husband being fresh off his mission--it was just a lot to handle. If took me a while to realize that I wasn't only being emotional because of birth control, my marriage actually sucked. In the LDS world it's inevitable that a LOT of change come all at once when you get married. Living with a guy is enough to deal with when you never have. Minimize the new variables as much as you can by acclimating/experimenting with hormonal birth control (if that's the route you choose) and know that the hormones of birth control can make you moody. A good guy will love you through that.” –L
“I swear by my IUD. Get it right after you get engaged and at about 6 months with it, you'll typically have zero periods, and you never have to think about birth control. Muchas better than making love with a balloon between your lips (no matter how "thin" it is). The Mirena is covered by most insurance policies. As for Lube, we used KY for the first couple times, but it got much better when we stop depending on a bottle, and just made sure I had created enough of my own lube before penetration. I think that's the best, but to each his/her own.” –SB
“I'm on just the standard pill right now, but I'm thinking about doing an IUD just for convenience. As for lube, we really like Astroglide, and His/Hers KY. We tried some of the warming kind, and I hated it.” –AD
Please be respectful and kind in the comments--we want to keep Eternal Intimacy a safe space! Disrespectful or unkind comments will be deleted.
The comment box will ask for your name, but you are welcome to simply put "anonymous."
The comment box will ask for your name, but you are welcome to simply put "anonymous."